You to continue reading this article

                Despite having what some have called an unappealing headline, you have just opened this article and started reading it.

                “I’m really not sure why I’m reading this article,” you said. “So far it doesn’t really seem to be about anything. I’m beginning to wonder why it was even written.”

                Though the thought has crossed your mind to stop reading the article, you said that a combination of curiosity and boredom have kept you reading.

                “Why don’t I just stop right now?” You said. “Derrick is obviously an asshole and trying to screw with my head. He’s a weirdo.”

                Sources have indicated that I’m not a weirdo. It seems that you’re the one reading a pointless article when you should instead be focusing on homework, looking for a job or spending time with your family.

                “Thank God it’s finally over,” you said. “That was stupid.”